Triangulation Erodes Trust
Triangulation Erodes Trust
According to SimplePsychology, “triangulation in relationships refers to a communication pattern where one person avoids direct interaction with another, instead using a third person as an intermediary. This can create misunderstandings and conflicts, often serving as a manipulative strategy to control or gain power.”
One of the most frequent examples of triangulation is sadly seen in the midst of couples that are headed towards divorce. Far too often in divorce situations, we see one parent triangulating through their children to gain leverage and get what they want out of their spouse. The common refrain is something like, “Tell your mother…” or “Tell your father…”
When you read that I’m sure your thought was, “Wow. That’s wrong.”
And you’re correct.
It is wrong.
Unfortunately, far too many business leaders who fear direct confrontation with employees or other leaders use triangulation as a way to gain leverage and avoid the personal risks that come with direct conversations.
When you as a leader have an issue with someone in your organization but you refuse to address it with them directly, choosing instead to engage a third party in the conversation to get what you want, you’re taking a page right out of the triangulation playbook.
It shouldn’t surprise you that this kind of behavior is incredibly unhealthy and erodes trust in leaders and organizations.
Here’s how you can combat triangulation:
When you have a problem or issue with someone, go directly to them to address it. You can never solve an issue with one person by taking it to another person first.
Avoid the desire to air concerns about one person with someone else. This is gossip, not leadership.
Don’t use guarded and shifty language. Be clear, be specific, and be direct in your communication.
If the two of you can’t solve the problem collaboratively, then (and only then) should you take the situation to your supervisor or key leader to help navigate. But when you do this, you should do it together with the goal of a mutually beneficial resolution. Not just to “win” the argument.
If you engage in triangulation as a leader, you are modeling that behavior for your people and communicating that triangulation is an acceptable form of engagement and conflict resolution behavior in your organization. There’s no better way to sow the seeds of toxicity into your organization than by modeling bad behaviors for your people.
Leadership Link Roundup
Show don’t tell. If you want real change in your organization you’ll need to show your people what it means to be different. Telling them simply isn’t enough.
People problems age like milk, not wine. If you let people problems fester they’ll sour your entire organization.
Attract great talent. Grab these three essential tips to attract bold, high-caliber talent to your organization.
5 Tips to Improve Employee Engagement
Take the 90-Day Leader’s Journey!
If you want to become a leader of significant impact, you need to take the 90-Day Leader’s Journey. In this 90-day email course I’ll share with you 90 key insights on leadership Character, Culture, and Competence that I use to train leadership teams in professional service firms every day — and that you can use to accelerate your own leadership impact!
Optimize Your Salesforce CRM
Does your organization struggle to get your Salesforce CRM to do the things you need it to do? Do you want to pull your hair out because you feel like your CRM is working against you instead of for you?
If this feels familiar, my friend Jim Krizan over at Higher Rock LLC can help you.
His team of expert Salesforce consultants can help with anything from Salesforce implementations, platform integrations, maintenance, reporting, and anything else you need to effectively use your Salesforce CRM.
You can get the help you need to maximize the impact of your Salesforce CRM.
Book a no-cost, no-obligation call with Higher Rock LLC today!
#paidpromotion #advertisement