Leaders Need Mentors Too
Just because you're in charge doesn't mean you don't have anything to learn...
It’s easy to think that once you reach a certain level in your career and leadership that you’ve “arrived”, and that you no longer need coaches, mentors, or thought partners to help you process your own ideas, your challenges, opportunities, and risks.
It’s the belief that now that you’re a leader, all the pressure sits on your shoulders, and you have to carry them alone.
This thinking is flawed. It’s dangerous and will harm your long-term growth if you hold on to it.
In my opinion, every leader needs a mentor. Sometimes you need three or four. It depends on your specific needs and goals. And how each mentoring relationship can support your growth and development.
But a lot of leaders also struggle trying to figure out how best to engage a mentor, how to establish appropriate guidelines and expectations, etc.
I’ve been blessed to have many great mentors throughout my career, and I now have the joy of being able to mentor other leaders and aspiring leaders along their journeys.
Here are six principles that I’ve learned over the years to help make your mentoring relationships more effective:
Keep your ego in check: Yes, you’re smart. Yes, you’re in a position of leadership. And yes, you’ve worked hard to get where you are. But this is not a competition. If you approach a mentoring relationship trying to prove to the other person that you’re a rock star, the relationship will fail. If your goal is continuous learning and development, you need to show up hungry to learn, and humble enough to have your thoughts and actions questioned and explored fully.
Respect your mentor, but don’t put them on a pedestal: Your mentor may be an expert in their field. They may have decades more experience than you do. But understand that your mentor isn’t perfect. If you idolize your mentor, it will limit your ability to see critical issues and adapt your thinking based on what you’re learning from them.
Keep your commitments and be disciplined: If someone agrees to a mentoring relationship with you, you owe it to them to show up consistently. When you agree on a schedule of meetings, show up. In fact, be early. Be prepared. Know what you want to get out of the engagement and communicate those expectations clearly. Protect this time and be fully present.
Ask the right questions: Mentorship is an opportunity for strategic growth. In advance of your mentorship meetings, craft a set of questions that address your biggest challenges and opportunities. Put thought into the discussions you want to have and the insights you hope to receive. Don’t let conversations with your mentor happen by chance.
Act on what you learn: Capitalize on your learning as fast as possible. If you and your mentor discuss an issue one week, find ways to begin testing that concept and putting changes into place the following week. This is how you move from theory to practice, and how you gain leverage from a mentoring relationship.
Don’t throw in the towel: Sometimes mentors will challenge us to the point where we feel like just giving up. Don’t take the bait. If your mentor challenges you and you want to give up, that means you are likely on the cusp of a major insight or breakthrough. If you throw in the towel, you’ll never experience the growth you desire. Even when you’re frustrated and challenged by a mentoring experience, remember that your goal is to process through those frustrations and challenges to achieve breakthrough learning on the other side. Stick with it, and grow from it.